I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
