I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
