Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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