yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
