I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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