I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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