Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
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Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.