the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Boobs are out for the taking
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.