Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?