I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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