Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with