you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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