Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
