from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
