Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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