Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
