So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
