I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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