:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
