Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize