I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
