it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
