It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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