He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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