He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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