oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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