yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
