Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
