saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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