super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
