I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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