'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
