between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
