we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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