So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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