I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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