She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
