I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
