Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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