I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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