I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
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i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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