i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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