Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
