apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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