If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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