Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
