I have demons in me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
