I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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