i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
