We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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