I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
