Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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