Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
