I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the liver wants what the liver wants
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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