Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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