Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
