and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
only you would photoshop your dick
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Someone came in the potted fern
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
