When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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