dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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