well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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