Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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