I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
