The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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