There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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