are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is wine microwaveable?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
