Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
