Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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