Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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