Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So apparently I’m into choking now
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