The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
