The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize