my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
