Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
