Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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