Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
