first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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