Non-Jews are for practice
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize